Manly Food

Manly Food.

What constitutes manly food? Well probably the manliest of foods is stuff you hunted down, shot, dressed and cleaned yourself; say deer, big horn sheep, elk, etc. Then there is fish that you actually caught. That aside, you need to be eating meat and plenty of it. Potatoes go good with meat, and I suppose if you want to eat something green you can always try green beans. Beans are also a great choice. They were a staple on cattle drives so they should be good enough for you too! Chili and Stews are always acceptable unless they’re vegetarian. Obviously there are other dishes. If you’re getting’ something foreign avoid stuff and food that sounds French or begins with the word crème. If you’re in a foreign country look for the for stuff that should make a billy-goat gag. You don’t want to end up with an Asian cousin of “chicken nuggets” Try the calves’ brain or eel intestines. You didn’t invade a foreign land just to eat a Big Mac!

Also don’t go around eating stuff made with ground turkey. That’s just stupid. And let’s make this clear: you are not to eat salad. You feed the salad to rabbits to fatten it up so you can use it as bait when you go alligator trapping. Got it? Good.

At no time eat quiche or chocolate mousse. Leave it to the French to screw up eggs and chocolate pudding.

Never ever should eat bagels, muffins, or an “energy” bar. Anything that says “low sodium” means you’re going to need to add salt. If you get something marked low-cal you’ve been ripped off. It means you’ll need to eat 3 or 4 of them to get full.

Next up: The manly menu planner, followed by Snacks and drinking like a man.

Dressing a deer brings out the man in you. It's also great Father-Daughter time. Dressing Barbies or dressing deer? This girl knows what's really fun!

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